A few years ago, I utterly blew a Zoom presentation.

​On the third sentence I forgot what to say. I spent long painful moments shuffling my script. My voice lapsed into a monotone and stayed there the whole 20 minutes. I kept looking at the webcam, per expert advice, and got further disoriented.

​Right afterward, I knew exactly what had happened. The presentation took place on the day of a time-zone change, and time-zone changes unhinge me. Because of said change, I didn’t realize the presentation time was also my body’s lunchtime, so I launched into the speech ravenous. Oh, and I’d had zero experience formally presenting on Zoom.

Great lessons, right? Clearly the next step was to absorb them and move on.

Oh no. Instead I spent two years thinking I am a bad speaker, and I will never present in public again.

In other words, I got myself stuck.

Now I knew this wasn’t true. I’d presented enough to have complete confidence that my public speaking ability is absolutely…OK. Not Barack Obama, not Billy Graham, but not bad. All that evidence should have nipped stuckness in the bud. But it didn’t.

Has this ever happened to you? Ever get stuck in a view of yourself that isn’t accurate, and it holds you back?

I don’t have a nice three-point presentation on How to Get Unstuck. In my case, a dream highlighted my stuckness in rather vivid detail. I journaled about the dream, the lessons I’d learned from that invaluable experience two years ago, and the view of myself I need to take forward: i.e., my OKness in in-the-flesh formats (jury’s still out on Zoom).

Of course, your mileage to getting unstuck may vary. But I’d love to hear your experience if you’re willing to share. How have you gotten stuck, and how did you get out? Feel free to email me, respond in the Comments section, or share it on Facebook. 

A wise friend of mine posts thought-provoking “questions of the week” on Facebook. Last week’s question provoked an answer from me, and it’s got me thinking again about the difference I can and can’t make in the world. Because this feels so right for the blog, I’ve reproduced it here (with slight edits). I’d love to hear what you think of this.

My friend’s question:
What’s the thing you feel most powerless or helpless about?

My response:
I'm getting to a point where I feel powerless about the things I AM powerless about--specifically, things where my one-person's best contribution cannot begin to address the scale of the problem. Climate change. The rush to AI without proper reflection. The horrific state of polarization in the U.S. The resurgence of totalitarianism.

I look at these problems and think, (a) I cannot change their course by myself, and (b) as a species or nation, etc., we're probably screwed—or at least headed for a worse place than we inhabited several decades ago.

This sounds like despair but it is emphatically not. I THINK it's coming from a deep place in my Zen practice. What it does is liberate me to set the big problems aside and be my best self, do my best work, to serve the people and causes I can actually make a difference with. As an older nonbinary person, for instance, I can model what that's like to the world. As a writer, I can address issues that sit deep in my heart, without a thought of whether my writing will change the world. As a bireligious person (Christian and Zen), I can model interfaith bridge building by BEING interfaith bridge building. Etc.

Bottom line, I feel powerless over a lot of things, because I am. And seeing that fact releases what power I do have.

My question to you, dear reader:
What do you think? Feel free to email me, post your thoughts in the Comments section, or put them on Facebook.